You are enough

You are not too much

You are not too little

You are just enough

You are perfectly imperfect

You are not your mistakes

You are not your past

You are not your flaws

You are not what has happened to you

You are enough

You are made up of scars, and beauty marks

You are enough


 

Loving ones self, and believing you are enough is a practice. I fell down the rabbit hole of believing that I wasn’t enough. After many years of this negatively impacting me, I finally had enough. I started a cleanse. The same way you would start a cleanse if you had a parasite. However, this parasite is made up of the individuals I surrounded myself with, the thoughts I allowed myself to think, the way I addressed or avoided problems, and a lack of self awareness, mindfulness and discipline.

I cleansed my life of individuals who reinforced the thought that I was too much or not enough. I set strict boundaries with this individuals, and put them in places in or out of my life where they could not impact my mental health.

I had to make a true effort to surround myself with the individuals who make me believe in myself, and who believe in me. I needed to pull these people in, and water and nourish these relationships. These people were very carefully chosen and individuals that I could fully and deeply trust.

I encourage myself daily to be kind and gentle with myself.

I practice self love, through self encouragement, positive self talk, and positive affirmations. I try to focus on the positive things about myself. I do this by recognizing my negative self talk, negative self thoughts or doubts, stopping them and replacing it with something positive about myself. This is something that must be done with intention. I have to set the intention each day to do this. On hard days I must set the intention many times throughout the day.

I had to learn that there IS a difference between self discipline and self berating. I used to just beat myself up over every tiny flaw, and hope somehow that would drive me to change it. It is okay to acknowledge that you have flaws, but once the problem is recognized, we must address those flaws, rather than beat ourselves down for having them. Sitting around feeling terrible about the problem, or beating ourselves up for the problem or mistake only sets us back further. As simple as it sounds, that took me a long time to realize, and an even longer time to address. If it is something you can work on, then establish a practice and use self discipline to work on it. If it is not, then find a way to love it.

Okay, sounds simple enough? Right?

Well, not always.

Sometimes as adults we are so stuck in our ways. Sometimes we truly don’t want to see a problem, or we don’t want to address it. Or we have beat ourselves up for so long, that is all we know how to do.

How would you treat a child who is struggling, changing and learning? You wouldn’t talk down to them. You would give them room to grow in a safe environment, encourage them, support them, and teach them. This is what we must do to ourselves. This is what I am working on doing for myself. I am giving myself the love I so easily and fully give to children, and everyone else.

I also had to realize that this doesn’t apply to every problem, and everything I don’t like about myself or my life. Some things just cannot be changed no matter what we do. In that case, when it is truly 100% out of my control, I must master the art of radical acceptance, and slather myself with nonjudgmental self love through the process. I mean really dig in and find a way to accept it, love it, and give it purpose and meaning

I must make it a point to practice self care, self love, self discipline, and self encouragement. I must surround myself with individuals who hold me accountable, but do not belittle me. Individuals who are not afraid to hold up a mirror and show me where I need to grow, but also hold out a hand and offer support for me to do so. I must continue to free myself from all relationships that chain me to an idealized self, unrealistic expectations, or who do not allow me the space or environment to grow. I am enough, but that doesn’t mean I am for everyone, or that everyone is for me. Letting go is hard, but when protecting my mental health was literally life or death everything became very clear. Protecting myself and letting go became my priority.

Being enough for myself is a journey. It does not happen overnight. It took years of conditioning, trauma, and negative self talk to bring me to a point where I believed I was not enough. I have to remind myself that it is a journey. The cure to the parasite is made up of the intention to become enough for myself again, the self discipline to make changes, and the courage to fully embrace myself in self love and compassion. It is also made up of the self respect and boundaries required to let toxic people go and protect myself.

I am enough. I am perfectly imperfect and made up of flaws. I have the courage, mindfulness and curiosity to find and work on those flaws. I have the self love and compassion to be gentle and kind to myself and radically accept and love the things that are out of my control. I have the self respect to set boundaries and the strength to let toxic people go. I have bravery to be vulnerable and own my truth, and in that truly reclaim myself and believe that I am enough.

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